Great Christian Sex

Timothy 3:1-4

This quote from the bible sounds so simple and straight forward. In short, a man should live his life in an impeccable manner, with noble values and a strong belief in his religion and dedication to his family and his God. A man that lives this way earns love, admiration, respect, honor, and dignity from all who are blessed with his presence in their lives. This man inspires those around him to follow his example, to live their life the same way. This type of man leads.

Past generations knew what this passage meant, and what it required of them; they had strong beliefs, values, and morals. They did their best to pass these lessons down through the generations.

Yet, as you look around today, so many have lost touch with those wholesome values. Many men have strayed from the path of integrity and their families are paying the price. Their marriages are suffering from the lack of leadership.

As I look back on my mere fifty years of life, I can remember a time when these values were still prevalent in our society. They were taught in schools, in churches, in the home and even television shows were based on a wholesome way of life.

Today we live in a different world … or so it seems.

As sad as it is to say, the past was not as wholesome as it appears. Do not be fooled into thinking that past generations lived the passage above effortlessly. So many preached this way of life, yet did not live it behind closed doors.

Many men were overly dominant. They believed that their women were their property and they treated them as such. Women were overly submissive out of fear, so many families had skeletons in the closet, so many secrets, and so much was covered up. If a woman spoke up about the way her husband treated her in private, there were no organizations to come to her rescue. It was more important to save face and pretend that all was well, even when it was not. Not looking bad in front of the neighbors, at church, or in any public setting took precedence over right and wrong.

Abuse of every kind was common. Men beat their wives and children. They also abused them verbally. If a woman did not willingly submit to her husband sexually, it was often forced upon her. Such things went unseen, and unreported. The neighbors turned a blind eye and told themselves that she brought this on herself. That seems to be how things often worked back then. If a woman knew her place, then she could get by and be comfortable. If she dared to speak up, then that was a different matter and she suffered the consequences.

Now I am sure you’re starting to wonder what this has to do with marriage and being a leader today.

I am not a trained counselor, physiatrist, doctor or any other form of official authority on this subject. I am just a regular guy that has been through, and seen an awful lot of unhappiness in my life. What I am about to say is my own opinion based on my own experience with life and the lives of many, many people that I have been involved with through my years.

Many of the children of the era I am speaking of have deep emotional issues that they have carried with them through life. The scars can run deep and affect their adult lives in many ways.

Those are the people that are now grandparents, parents, wives and husbands. These people are struggling to live a happy life, and they remain constantly haunted by the conditioning of the past, many do so without even knowing what is causing their marital and life stresses, the scars are deep, they have been covered up by years of conditioning, self-preservation, and a need to simply survive in the best way they know how. There is an abundance of anger, insecurity, fear, detachment, and a lack of knowledge on how to give and receive genuine love and affection. The subject in which past conditioning and present desires for love and affection are the most conflicted and explosive is the domain of sex.

Sex is an integral part of the human experience. It is everywhere you look. It is on billboards, in our clothing, on just about every television channel, and in our grade schools. Sex has been subverted to sell every product and to control how we feel about ourselves and our lives. We view sex as image enhancer, sex as achievement, or sex as entertainment. This is not what sex is supposed to be. Sex is supposed to be about love.

The association between sex, love, and affection has all but been lost in our modern society. There is sex everywhere you look, except in many marriages where it belongs. The love, affection, kindness, and appreciation of each other that should be accompanying the act of sex has been lost or covered up with life’s daily stresses, pressures, and a lack of time to achieve all of our responsibilities.

Even on the rare occasion that a couple manages to find the time for a husband and wife to connect, there is no guarantee that they still have the ability to do so.

Surely there will be some that dispute my opinion, but there will be just as many or more that simply cannot deny the reality of what I am saying. You don’t have to look far to see it.

Today’s marriages are filled with women that are holding on to so much pain, resentment, anger, insecurity, and a lack of understanding on how to give love and receive love, from their child hood  that they simply do not have the skills to maintain a long term relationship. The emotional instability of today’s society is not only sad, in too many cases, it could be considered pathetic.

To this emotional immaturity you now must add the twisted modern focus on the individual as the highest priority. In today’s society it is all about me. It is about what I want, and what I need. I can rarely admit when I’m wrong and I have to be the one who is in control because I cannot trust anyone else to look out for my interests.

Put these two things together; our inability to properly give and receive love, and the extreme focus on individual needs, and it is easy to see why the divorce rates in America are so astronomically high. We are a society of people who are stumbling around grasping at others to meet our needs for us, while simultaneously ignoring the fact that they are individuals who have needs as well. We cannot see beyond the horizons of our own lives long enough to truly love another person.

To me, this all leads back to the subject of leadership, and in particular I am speaking about the ability of a man to provide leadership for his family. Many men in today’s world are experiencing the same emotional havoc from their upbringing as women are. Men suffered just as much emotional, physical, and mental abuse as the women from this era.

We seem to handle this situation exactly as previous generations did. When our wife and children will not submit to our desires, we force them to get in line. If overt domination does not work, then we will resort to emotional manipulation. We go to the extremes of either over controlling, or over submissiveness. Neither of these tactics will result in anyone being happy. What our families need is not control, or a man that they can walk all over. What they need is a leader.

What does it mean to be a leader? It means that a man must step outside of his own limited sense of self. He must stop acting for his own interests, and work instead to promote the greater good of his family. Leadership is when a man is leading his family toward a life that is happy and fulfilling for all of them.

Few men today can provide true leadership. Few men realize that it is not enough to have faith, values and religious beliefs alone. If that were true, then the many men from the generation I spoke of above, and just as many now, that had strong Christian beliefs and values would not need a program such as this.

Men and women can do their best to be good Christians, and still fail at being adequate fathers, husbands, mothers and wives. They still have no idea how to lead their spouses and families to peace and happiness.

Today’s churches are still filled with men that go home after a service and create a world of fear, unhappiness, and emotional stress for themselves, their wives, and their children.

There are just as many women that have strong Christian beliefs, yet go home and cannot love, appreciate, find peace, or be affectionate in the way God intended us all to be, man or woman.

Now if you go back to the quote I started this article with, we can assume that God designed men to be leaders and to exercise a degree of authority over their families.

However, a man should never try to control the woman in his life. He can, and should, lead his marriage, his conversations and interactions with his wife and his children. He can, and should control his own behaviors and attitudes. However, he must also give his family space to be themselves. A man can learn to be the right kind of leader. He can be the kind of leader that his wife and family will respect, desire, appreciate, and be more than happy to follow.

That is what a man can learn from these materials; how to manage the emotions, the fears, and the insecurities of himself and his partner so that they are moving toward a common good in which all of their needs are met, and they are both fulfilled.

As a man you will learn how to inspire the best in yourself and all those around you. You will learn how to end the arguments, the criticism, the emotional outbursts, the fears, and the insecurities that drag down your relationship.

You will learn how to bring out the love and passion in your marriage. You will learn how to handle the daily issues that pop up in all our lives. You will learn how to manage your own behaviors, and those of your wife and your children. In other words, you will learn to be the right kind of leader, the leader that God designed you to be.

I say again, DON”T BE FOOLED by thinking that just by having Christian beliefs you are on the right path. You also need the knowledge of how to deal with the realities of today’s society.

This program will give you that knowledge and much, much more.

If your marriage is less than you desired, is in serious trouble, or you just seem to come up short of the mutually, God given gift of marital happiness, then I ask that you seriously consider these materials; as they and the author are truly a blessing from God.

www.be-the-husband-your-wife-desires.com

Confessions of an Adulterous Christian Woman: Lies That Got Me There; Truths That Brought Me Back

Confessions of an Adulterous Christian Woman offers a rare and honest look at the destructive descent into adultery and reveals the redeeming power of God’s grace and His ability to restore a ruined life. Author Lyndell Hetrick Holtz was a pastor’s wife, Bible study leader, and retreat speaker who never believed she would commit adultery. She thought her involvement with ministry gave her extra protection from the temptation to have an affair. But, in her forties, her life began to crumbl

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It is almost the usual scenery and action, like watching the same porn movie over and over again. You and your partner dress in birthday suits. You touch here. You grab there. You kiss here. You lick there. Either you climb on her or she rides on you. Some moaning, panting, thrusting and follow by your snoring, leaving her eyes wide staring at the ceiling. After a while, you find that you have to coax and nudge a lot to get her to have sex with you. A rather Herculean task as if you are trying to persuade an elephant to climb a tree.

What is going wrong with your bedroom life? Can there be a way out of this? Of course you can! There is a solution! One of the easiest ways to spice up your love life is to switch places for sex.

Sex, like a movie, consists of characters, plot and location. Rather than being contented to play the role of actor and actress, you can also self-direct your love movie and make it more interesting and entertaining. If you are not going to switch or cheat on your partner, the sensible option is to change the place for sex. The following are the choices you can consider. It is up to you and your partner to decide what is best for both of you.

Next time when you are caught in another boring lovemaking session, push your partner onto the floor when he/she least expects it. This surprise action alone may keep your relationship cemented for a few months.

What should you look out for? The floor may be cooling to your skin, consists of bare wood or rough carpeting. You will either need to have a mat or to have sex 80%-clothed to avoid your skin been hurt by the rough surface.

This is the next most convenient place out of the bedroom. This is because lovemaking on a couch is similar to lovemaking on a bed. It will serve you and your lover/partner well to learn how to make love while one of you is sitting up.

This is where you must learn to make love on the kitchen table, against the refrigerator, the oven and the sink. You have to keep clear of the cutlery, the pots, and pans and make sure you do not slip or bang against the faucet or tap.

Sex in the shower involves standing on a wet floor. The main thing to watch out for is the slippery floor. Go to the nearby hardware store to buy some handles or towel rods that can be stick firmly on the wall to give both of you added support. The most appropriate positions are variations on the standing rear entry positions. Ask her to stand leaning against the wall with legs spread out and you penetrate her from behind. Or, you get her to bend forward at her waist, her hands touching the floor, your hands on her waist and you enter her from behind.

The most popular place to make love outside the house has always been the car. Many of the lovemaking skills from the couch can be applied to the car. Finding the place to park your car can determine how wild you want sex to be. If you are those with exhibitionist tendency, you can find a spot that is private, but not too private. Or, you can drive around town to look for secluded spots. You can then become bold enough to get out of the car to make love in a park, in the woods, or maybe even in a cemetery.

You and your partner go to a fancy restaurant or some nice eateries and halfway through dinner, have a quickie sex in one of those clean, nice-smelling toilets. Some other places you may get clean restrooms are hotels, museums, libraries, churches, shopping malls, or even on the plane.

This place provides many opportunities for naughty outdoor sex. Many couples enjoy the pleasure and excitement of making love under a blanket, in full view of hundreds of people, including kids. Pick a secluded spot shielded by rocks and spread out a towel or blanket, if you can.

For a little more privacy, try wading into the ocean or sea. The deeper you go, the more concealed your naughty behavior. Just be careful you do not lose your swimwear. You can get your woman to wrap her legs around your waist, her hands around your neck; your hands supporting her buttocks and her swimsuit bottom pull to the side for easy penetration.

What can be more intimate and romantic than having sex in the middle of a large stretch of water out in the middle of nowhere? The feeling of being stranded on a secluded island in a boat can be a fantasy to a lot of people.

Go and look for the least popular movie in town and go to one of the cinemas that film this movie. You have to be quick because unpopular movies do not appear on the screen for long.

Schools and universities usually post a schedule of when each room is free and when it is in use. Just take note of an opportune time and show up.

This is also a good location for quickie sex when suddenly you and your woman have this urge or desire to get naughty during one of those window-shopping trips with her.

It is either you or her have to work late. You go to her workplace to pick her up or she comes to your workplace to meet you. Most likely the workplace should be empty. You can pick any spot you like as long as it is out of the view of those security cameras.

How about having sex on some stranger’s bed at a house party hosted by your friend or common friend? Forbidden fruit tastes sweeter! Doing what you are not supposed to do with the possibility of getting away with it or getting caught can add thrill to your sex life!

We have a lot of techniques which you can make use of to enlarge your penis size. It does not come so easy but with patience and endurance you will be on your way to gain a bigger penis. Some men who were born and grew up with a small penis have been able to get a big penis using what nature has to offer. 75% of adult females acknowledge they would admire their lover to acquire a longer penis. A large number of guys can not have entire intercourse for in excess of three minutes without ejaculating.

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In recent years scientists have done multiple tests on the effectiveness of doing penis exercises. Lo and behold it does work… and particularly well too! Men have reported gaining even 3 inches in size so easily in just a matter of weeks and amazingly stay bigger even long after they cease exercising!

If you were not aware there are currently many different male enlargement methods out in the market right now. And many make claims to be the best penis enlarging tool available. However only one method has that right to claim that they are the best. This is because its the safest the fastest and also the most effective.

– Have sex for as long as you want and satisfy her fully! – Create a more muscular mushroomed looking penis head!

Length matters. Some men are curious about where they stand in terms of penis size. Well here it is. The average length of an erected penis is about 5.1 inches; a flaccid one at 3.5 inches. The sad thing? Most of us have penises that are below the average size.

These are some horrible facts that are sad but true. Your penis is made up of three chambers two large ones which run along the top (Corpora Cavernosa) and one smaller one (Corpus spongiosum) that runs along the bottom of your penis.

The average sized penis is 6.5′ in length. How do you measure up? And do you really want to be just average? 6 out of 10 long-term relationship breakups report that sexual problems were a major contributory factor!

Most of these are some astonishing details about the grim reality of the mass and functioning of the normal mans genitals.

Reading below would you say that you fit into any of these things?

Would you declare that at one point or another you have imagined about enlarging the size of your male member? If you have then you are at the correct place.

Male lengthening exercise routines are one hundred percent natural and harmless. They are also attested to work.

If you suffer from impotence and it is a fact that over 100 million men will suffer from this at some stage in their lives male enlargement exercises can help.

Male enlargement exercises work on increasing the blood flow to your penis and the more blood your penis can hold the bigger it will be. Any increase you get is also permanent too. Rock hard erections and the most satisfying sexual encounters ever are all yours for the taking.

Enlarge your penis the non-chemical and proved way and you are warranted a desirable and strong penis that will be only too eager to fulfill any time of the day or night. No matter what your current size male enlargement exercises can help you to add up to for inches. Take out a ruler and glance at what four inches is; would you like to obtain this?

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Do you want to make your relationship with your significant other more intimate? Then getting a sexy tattoo not just for you but for your partner as well can be a very good idea that can not only enhance your romantic life together but your sexual life.

Getting a tattoo itself says a lot a person, but the design can also convey a heavier message.Therefore, it is of high importance that a couple should spend some time on the design that will define and bind them together.

Personally, I suggest that the design speak of significance between the couple. It should emphasize a connection between the two of you. If I may add as well, the couple should have the design tattooed on them together at the same time.

Now, let’s go on how you plan the design. Make the planning stage itself as romantic as it should be. You can probably cuddle as you whisper sweet nothings in the garden or in your candle lit bedroom while jazz music is playing. Squeeze those romantic concepts out of your head. This will definitely help you come up with the best sexy couple tattoo. Discuss what you consider important in your relationship or try to reminisce those important times and places in your relationship and the things small or big that you could associate with them.

One of the things that should be part of this romance-enhancing discussions should be the part of the body where the tattoo should be placed. Take into consideration that the tattoo should be intimate and sexy most of the time, it should be visible between the two of you. In addition, the tattoo should be smaller in size so that it will be easier to hide. Remember, it’s a secret sexy tattoo. Secret, as the word suggests, should not be for “public viewing”

Now, let’s go the design proper. Would you go for words or images? You as a couple should call the shots. What matters most is that it is a mutual and cherished choice. Both Adam and Eve should have a say on this one. Here’s the catch on this one though. Your relationship may be something that you say “made in heaven” but there’s nothing certain in this world. For this reason, I think both of you had better not use each other’s names as a secret sexy couple tattoo. It’s not about being pessimistic. It’s reality that we all have to accept. Just err on the safe side if ever. Bear in mind that a tattoo is permanent. Would you want the name of the person you used to love to be a fixed part of your skin? How would your current partner feel staring at those words while both of you are naked and making love? Ouch! You might be accused of not being over your ex! Do you want that? Of course not!

Again, in choosing the sexy secret couple tattoo, start by planning it with a romantic mood to inspire your thoughts. Recall all those happy times and places in your relationship and come up with a common choice and definitely not each other’s names!

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Think relaxation, seduction and preparation.

Perhaps you or your partner is a little unsure about .  It’s not uncommon in our society to be holding some baggage, when it comes to the performance of oral sex. 

Maybe either or both of you are concerned about odor or taste – perhaps you’ve been raised to believe the act is “dirty” or you’re self-conscious about your abilities or about your vulva.  It’s true that it can be hard for some to relax and enjoy the act, even if they really want to.

If you have found yourself in the unfortunate position described above, there are some things you can do to help yourself and your partner relax and really learn to enjoy the increased intimacy that comes from the sharing of oral pleasure.

Bathing – If it’s cleanliness or odour that concerns either or both of you, consider incorporating a candle-lit bath, a steamy, soapy shared shower, or a slow, seductive sponge bath into the foreplay. Make her feel appreciated and really take the time, while also caring for hygiene, to appreciate for yourself each part of her anatomy. Be gentle and focus on comfort and fun. Work your way up (or down!) – You don’t need to jump right in, tongue-a-swirling to make for good oral sex, in fact, many women find this kind of abruptness a turn-off. Pay attention to her whole body, kiss, touch and play, working your way slowly towards her vulva. Work your way in – Even once you get there, the all-too-common approach of vigorously attacking the clitoris will certainly result in tension and possibly withdrawal. Start with her outer lips and slowly, gently work your way in. There will be plenty of time for more vigorous ministrations once your bodies relax into one another. Communicate – Communication is a two way street. Encourage her to tell you what she enjoys, but also be aware of her body language. Is she pushing her hips towards you or pulling them away? What does her facial expression tell you? The most attentive partners always perform the . Don’t overdo it – If one of you is uncomfortable, keep it short and sweet at first. Some gentle kisses or playful licks before returning to your usual sexual activities is better than avoiding the act altogether and as comfort and experience increases so can the time you spend pleasuring her.

If approached with enthusiasm and sensitivity, oral sex can be one of the most intimate and generous ways to share yourself with your partner.  It’s well worth the effort it may take to get there.
 

 

 

These words apply to every aspect of our lives, including our calling to be Christian counselors. We are admonished to walk circumspectly (prudently, cautiously, discreetly, watchfully) before both God and man. We are regulated by both laws and ethical codes. In our profession, guidelines for this circumspect behavior are provided in the form of ethical codes. While laws reveal the minimum standards that society will accept/tolerate; ethical codes establish the rules of conduct. Christian counselors are required to adhere to the ethical codes of their profession. Ethical issues occur in various areas of counseling; however, there are two areas that evoke the largest number of complaints filed with ethical boards: issues of confidentiality and dual relationships.

CONFIDENTIALITY  Confidentiality is an ethical concept, and simply put, means that what is shared within the therapeutic relationship will not be voluntarily disclosed by the counselor. Confidentiality is essential because it fosters trust, which is the bedrock of the therapeutic alliance. Christian counselors maintain client confidentiality to the fullest extent allowed by law, professional ethics, and church or organizational rules. I-410 – Confidentiality, Privacy, and Privileged Communication. The AACC Christian Counseling Code of Ethics (hereinafter noted as AACC code).2 The ACA (American Counseling Association) code of ethics, A2a, states that clients “have the right to expect confidentiality and to be provided with an explanation of its limitations…”  Privilege and Privacy  Two related concepts are privileged communication and privacy.

Privilege is a legal concept that protects clients from their counselor being forced to disclose confidential material. Privilege is distinguished from confidentiality in that the disclosure is typically involuntary. “In other words, confidentiality binds the counselor not to reveal client material even if the counselor feels inclined to do so, and privilege protects client information from inappropriate disclosure pressed for by legal authorities, rather than entertained by the counselor.” 4 Each state determines whether it ascribes to the doctrine of privilege, therefore, it is important for counselors to know their state’s statutes. Protecting confidential communication, including the assertion of privilege in the face of legal or court demands shall be the first response of counselors to demands or requests for client communications and records. I-420 – Disclosure of Confidential Client Communication, AACC Code. Privacy refers to the individual’s constitutional right to decide the time, place, manner, and extent of self-disclosure.5 Respect for Privacy.

Counselors respect their client’s right to privacy and avoid illegal and unwarranted disclosures of confidential information. B.1.a. – Right to Privacy. ACA Code of Ethics. Client information should not be revealed, orally or in writing, without formal consent. This even includes the fact that the client is engaging in counseling. 6 These prohibitions result in specific restrictions on the disclosure of information as illustrated below. Example: A counselor has been working with a woman who has been experiencing marital difficulties; her husband has been working with a different counselor. The husband decides to seek a divorce and wants his wife to allow access to her counseling records to support their efforts in resolving the marital problems. The wife has the right to: 1) refuse, 2) fully consent, or 3) specify what, when, and to whom information can be released. This could be only the fact that she has been receiving counseling or any other degree of disclosure that she chooses.

The client (the wife) holds the “right” to the waiver, the right to give her consent for the release of information. However, the “court” (not his lawyer) can require disclosure. In this event, the counselor could ask the court to recognize “privileged communication” which would probably be granted if the state has such a statute. Again, it is important to know your state’s laws on privileged communication. When court ordered to release con- fidential information without a client’s permission, counselors request to the court that the disclosure not be required due to potential harm to the client or counseling relationship. B.1.e – Court-ordered Disclosure. ACA Code of Ethics. Exceptions and Limitations to Confidentiality  With regard to confidentiality, while it is the client’s right to expect that disclosures in the counseling sessions will remain confidential and privacy will be respected, there are some limitations to the guarantee of full confidentiality.

These limitations tend to fall into legal and non-legal categories. Legal limitations. The law compelled breaches of confidentiality are related to mandatory reporting and the release of information. As previously stated, if the court orders the counselor to disclose information, the counselor must comply or be subject to penalty, even incarceration. Also, if the client waives the right to privacy (or any aspect of privacy), the counselor must concur (note: signing insurance forms gives consent to disclose specific information). Keep in mind that a waiver from the client does not give the counselor “carte blanche” to release information indiscriminately. Some exceptions have been made when, in the counselor’s judgment, disclosure would be harmful to the client. These are case-by-case exceptions and seldom required. The counselor has a duty to help the client determine the ramifications of disclosure.

When circumstances require the disclosure of confidential information, only essential information is revealed. To the extent possible, clients are informed before confidential information is disclosed. B.1.f. – Minimal Disclosure. ACA Code of Ethics. Christian counselors disclose only that client information they have written permission from the client to disclose or that which is required by legal or ethical mandates. The counselor shall maintain con- fidentiality of client information outside the bounds of that narrowly required to fulfill the disclosure and shall limit disclosures only to those people who have a direct professional interest in the case. 1-421. – Disclosure of Confidential Client Communication.

AACC Code. Within the legal framework of con- fidentiality, privilege, and privacy is the right of the counselor to break confi- dentiality if there is client malpractice litigation against the counselor. In order to construct an adequate defense, the counselor has the right to all relevant material.7  Mandatory Reporting  Mandatory reporting is the legal concept of required disclosure (breaching confidentiality) when certain offenses are suspected by, or revealed to, the counselor. These offenses include child abuse and neglect, elder abuse or neglect, and abuse of “vulnerable” (mentally ill, physically handicapped, and/or mentally handicapped) adults. “The legislatures have reasoned that the public interest in protecting those who cannot protect themselves from abuse far outweighs the obligation to confidentiality.”8 Again, it is incumbent upon the counselor to know the statutes of his/her state and the procedures for reporting.

The Federal Child Abuse and Treatment Act (1987) mandates the reporting of child abuse. The general requirement that counselors keep information confidential does not apply when disclosure is required to prevent clear and imminent danger to the client or others or when legal requirements demand that confidential information be revealed. B.1.c. ACA Code of Ethics. Christian counselors accept the limits of confidentiality when human life is imperiled or abused. We will take appropriate action, including necessary disclosures of confidential information, to protect life in the face of client threats of suicide, homicide, and/or the abuse of children, elders, and dependent persons. I-430. Protecting Persons from Deadly Harm: The Rule of Mandatory Disclosure. AACC Code.

Example: During the course of counseling, a 13-year-old boy discloses his sexual involvement with a neighbor, a 21-year-old male. Under the mandatory reporting statutes, this must be reported immediately to the appropriate authorities, typically child protective services and/or law enforcement. Clients who are deemed a danger to themselves or to others present another limitation to confidentiality. A landmark court case in California (Tarasoff vs. Regents of the University of California, 1974) resulted in many states invoking “duty to warn” mandates for mental health professionals. In the Tarasoff case, a psychologist at the University’s student health center was seeing a university student. He disclosed to the psychologist that he intended to kill a young woman who was readily identi- fied as Tatiana Tarasoff, a student who had spurned his romantic advances. The young man did, indeed, kill Tatiana a short time later. Her parents prevailed in the lawsuit on the grounds that there was a duty to warn the intended victim or her parents of the clear and imminent danger.

Action to protect third-persons from client violence may involve or, in states that have a third-person protection (Tarasoff) duty, require disclosure of imminent harm to the intended victim, to their family or close friends, and to law enforcement. I- 433 – Special Guidelines When Violence is Threatened Against Others. AACC Code. States vary in their interpretation of the doctrine of duty to warn, so counselors must be familiar with their state laws in order to determine their legal responsibilities. Some states reject it, some adhere to it, and some modify it. Knowing your state’s statutes is critical. Some subsequent court cases have expanded upon the Tarasoff decision as follows:  • Bradley Center vs. Wessner (1982)— duty not to negligently release a dangerous client  • Jablonski vs. United States (1983)— duty to commit a dangerous client • Hedlund vs. Superior Court (1983)— duty to warn to persons near the potential victim of danger  • Jafee vs. Redmond (1996)—Supreme Court decision that ruled in cases arising under federal law, privileged communication exists between all psychotherapists and their clients when governed by the Federal Rules of Evidence (this case also stands for the right to assert privilege in all cases where disclosure of a client record is sought by governmental authorities). Suicidal threats. In addition to the mandatory reporting of abuse and cases of imminent danger, counselors need to understand their obligations regarding potential suicides. “The evaluation and management of suicidal risk is a source of great stress for most therapists… Determinations are difficult to make, but counselors are expected to recognize the warning signs.”9 The ethical and legal responsibility to do whatever necessary to protect the client is clear.

Welfel outlines some of the options: intensify treatment; notify law enforcement and/ or family/relatives; or hospitalize the individual. 10 While any of these options require breaching confidentiality, counselors should disclose only the information required to provide assistance. In many states, the “duty to warn” mandates are not applied to suicide, or applied less stringently. Knowing the signs of suicide and your state’s statutes is essential. “The Christian counselor has a general duty to intervene in the life of the suicidal person to give that person a fair chance to live.”Other Limits of Confidentiality  While many issues of confidentiality fall within the legal realm, there are other limitations that need to be clarified.

In most counseling centers, clerical assistants handle confidential information. This can take various forms that may include: processing insurance forms; scheduling or canceling appointments; receiving phone messages; and/ or processing information for release. In situations that result in hospitalizations, confidentiality is typically breached. In addition, when a counselor is working under supervision or consults professionally with another counselor regarding the course of treatment or an ethical issue, confidentiality is compromised. It is always the counselor’s responsibility to protect the client’s identity. Also, any professional participating in a consulting or supervisory role is bound by the same rules of confidentiality as the counselor. Confidentiality and the Christian Counselor  How do the rules of confidentiality impact Christians in the counseling field? First and foremost, Christian counselors should adhere to the ethical codes of their profession.

While this is abun- dantly clear for the counselor who holds professional licensure, there is often some confusion for the lay counselor (church-based counselor). What obligation does a lay counselor have to uphold ethical standards? This may seem like an absurd question, but for some, there is a perception that these are manmade restrictions and they are not required to adhere to “man’s rules”—only to God’s rules. In some areas of one’s personal life this may be the case, however, in the role of counselor, laws and ethical codes have provided guidelines for the protection of the counselee. Within the Christian community we share a sense of family and there seems to be an expectation for disclosing personal aspects of our lives. One example of this can be observed in the sharing of prayer requests with enough details so we can “pray intelligently.” The Christian counselor must guard against the temptation to share any facet of a client’s “story.” Example: A Christian counselor was having lunch with a friend and asked her friend to pray for one of her clients who was going through a bitter divorce.

The counselor was careful to not reveal the identity of the “wife” as she disclosed details of the proceedings. A woman sitting in the next booth overheard the “story,” recognized the details, and readily identified the “wife” as her sister. She reported the incident to her sister (the client) who was devastated by the betrayal of confidence. In recent years there has been a distinctive rise in litigation against pastoral counselors, lay counselors, and churches. A major reason for this increase is that more people seek legal action to address their complaints (also true among Christians). The Church is no longer exempt from lawsuits. In a court of law, the counselor will be expected to provide a standard of care that is considered acceptable by a jury of his/her peers. Lay counselors will be well served to explore the AACC and/ or AAPC (pastoral counselors) codes of ethics and abide by their professional guidelines.  Dual Relationships Counselors have a duty to promote the client’s well-being.

In legal terms, this constitutes a fiduciary relationship.12 To the degree possible, counselors should avoid entering into a dual relationship with a client. A dual relationship is basically the participation in more than one role with the same client. Most professional codes of ethics warn of the potential dangers of dual relationships. For more detailed information on dual relationships, read the appropriate code of ethics for your profession.Counselors are aware of their in- fluential positions with respect to clients, and they avoid exploiting the trust and dependency of clients. Counselors make every effort to avoid dual relationships with clients that could impair professional judgment or increase the risk of harm to clients. (Examples of such relationships include, but are not limited to familial, social, financial, business, or close personal relationships with clients.) A.6.a – Dual Relationships. ACA Code of Ethics. Dual relationships involve the breakdown of proper professional or ministerial boundaries. A dual relationship is where two or more roles are mixed in a manner that can harm the counseling relationship. Examples include counseling plus personal, fraternal, business, financial, or sexual and romantic relations.

1-140 – Dual and Multiple Relationships. AACC Code. Christian counselors do not provide counseling to fellow church members with whom they have close personal, business, or shared ministry relations. We presume that dual relations with any other church members who are clients are potentially troublesome and best avoided, otherwise requiring justification. 1-145 – Counseling with Fellow Church Members. AACC Code.  Exploitation  Exploiting a client for self-interests is the underlying danger of the dual relationship. This is a violation of the fiduciary relationship. While exploitation can occur in numerous ways, there are two specific factors that need to be addressed: power differential and intimacy. Within the context of the counseling relationship is an imbalance of power. The counselee is seeking help from the counselor, which results in a power differential. A misuse of this power (or the use of undue influence) by the counselor is unethical. Counselors must be aware of the potential of the abuse of power and maintain their fiduciary responsibility to the client.

When a counselor enters into a therapeutic relationship with a client, the counselor has an obligation to promote client well-being and not succumb to self-interests. One aspect of the counseling relationship that opens the door to exploitation is intimacy. Intimacy is defined as a close relationship marked by the exclusive sharing of thoughts and feelings. In the therapeutic relationship the client discloses information that in many cases has not previously been shared with anyone. Deeply personal sharing is encouraged to facilitate the healing process. The counselor listens attentively and does not judge the client. The client responds with relief and admiration to this kind and caring person. If the counselor does not have well-established boundaries, he/she may be vulnerable to the client’s “admiration.” In our society, intimacy is equated with sexual behavior—hence, the stage is set.

Given the dynamics of this alliance, it is not surprising that sexual misconduct ranks number one for complaints filed with ethical committees and licensing boards. How do counselors maintain healthy boundaries with their clients? The responsibility rests squarely on the counselor; any type of sexual involvement is always unethical. The first line of defense is the informed consent, which can state that the counselor does not engage in socializing with clients. In the event the counselor experiences an attraction to the client, it is essential that the counselor seek out a trusted and experienced colleague to assist in exploring these feelings and establishing accountability. In some cases personal therapy may be necessary, but under no conditions should the counselor act on his/her feelings. Counseling never includes sex. If the counselor cannot resolve his/her feelings, termination and/or referral may be required. Care must be taken to assure that the client does not feel any responsibility—the problem is the counselor’s. Conclusion This is only a brief overview of the issues of confidentiality and dual relationships.Web counselor plays a vital role for the welfare of society.

It is strongly recommended that counselors, whether clinical, pastoral, or lay counselors, stay current in their understanding of ethical codes and legal statutes that impact the profession. Workshops, seminars, and articles/books are available on ethical behavior. It is interesting to note that all mental health professions stipulate a specific number of required continuing education units in ethics. While we are accountable to our profession and its codes of ethics, our ultimate level of accountability rests with God. As Christian counselors, we must aspire to the highest level of ethical behavior.  Jacqueline Gatewood, Psy.D., is an assistant professor at Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. She specializes in ethics, family systems, school counseling, grief and loss and divorce late in life.

Squirms, Screams and Squirts: Going from Great Sex to Extraordinary Sex

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If you’re floundering in the bedroom and your girlfriend is
moaning for all the wrong reasons, these tips will point you in
the right direction.

By Jack Crow http://www.sexy-american-singles.com

Gentlemen! If you want to get your girl moaning for real instead
of faking it, you’re going to have to put a bit of work in.
Firstly, a male can achieve orgasm within 2 – 3 minutes when
stimulated by another partner. Where as a female can take up to
15 minutes to climax.

If you know for a fact that you can’t keep going for that long
by pure intercourse alone (and lets face it, if you’re doing
that, you’re having sex, not making love) then you are going to
have to stimulate her body with foreplay instead.

Now before you panic and freak out, all of this can be done with
your tongue and hands. I guarantee you will become a better
lover in the bedroom AND you really will give her orgasm after
orgasm.

The top 5 female erogenous zones

The neck

Apart from being sexy and attractive, the female neck is perhaps
one of the most sensitive areas of her body. Softly kissing this
area from her shoulder to below her ear (while at the same time
massaging it with your tongue will send tingles and pulses up
and down her spine. Keep at it and she will be breathing heavily
in a very short period of time.

The ear lobes

Sucking ear lobes isn’t for everyone. Some girls get the tickles
when you do it but others simply adore it. While you’re there
you can whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Close facial contact
is what she likes so this is a good way to do it if you’re fed
up with kissing on the lips. Also massaging her ear lobes with
your fingers from time to time can be very soothing.

The nipples

On a par with the neck for sensitivity, the female nipples
become hard and sit up right when stimulated with your tongue.
Don’t forget to give both breasts even attention and also kiss
down in between her breasts as you work your way between both of
them. If she hasn’t grabbed your head by this stage and held it
into her bosom, something’s badly wrong.

The belly button

Working your way down her body, the belly button is another area
you should stimulate before full intercourse. Kissing this area
with your lips and tongue will cause vibrations that will
vibrate through her reproductive area and begin to stimulate her
G spot.

The G Spot

Ah the G spot. This holy grail legend of the female anatomy can
be tricky to find. So if the chance arises, ask her if she has
already found her G spot and let her point you in the right
direction.

As a general guide, most female G spots can be found on the roof
of the vagina (that’s the side closest to her stomach.). It’s
about the size and shape of a 2 pence coin and can be found
about 4 inches in.

Extreme caution should be taken when stimulating this area with
your tongue or fingers as a female can quite literally lose
control of her limbs. Don’t be surprised if you get kneed in the
face or get elbowed as she moans in ecstasy. It should also be
noted that not all females have a G spot, so don’t be alarmed if
you both can’t find it. As you have seen there are plenty of
other areas of the female body that can be stimulated in the art
of love making in order to help her climax.

Doing a combination of all these things will leave her begging
for more and you will be a better lover for it. Experimentation
is the key to find out what works and what doesn’t as everyone
is not the same.

As you can see, a true female orgasm involves the stimulation of
her whole body and not just simple penetration. Taking the time
to show care and attention to her needs will put you so far
above any other lovers, she may have had that you may find it
tricky escaping from the bed. I know I have

I hope this article helps your love life get back on track and
that you become better and more confident at making love and not
just having sex. Above all else, if you want to become a better
lover, ask your partner what they like and what they want you to
do to them. Not only will you help them get their rocks off
quicker, you’ll also show that you are thinking about their
needs and they in turn will think about yours. This will create
a much better experience than if both parties are concentrating
on what each can get out of the experience in a very selfish way.

Until next time.